Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Pig man by EB
One day Andra went out for a walk all the sudden it started to rain and thunder she was scared She was not close to home. When she got closer to home it started to rain even harder she ran the rest of the way home and in a flash of lighting she saw pigman she was so scared when she go home it stopped raining So Andra went to play at her friends lizzy’s house and played until andra had to go home to eat. Then she called lizzy to see if she wanted to play over andra's house. Lizzy went to andra's house they played video games then andra asked her mom if lizzy could sleep over and her mom said yes so lizzy called her mom and asked can I sleep over andra's and her mom said yes. Later that night andra and lizzy were still playing in the basement and dancing to the music until bed time. They went to bed at 11:00 that night. That night lizzy could not fall a sleep because she was afraid that pigman would kill her so she woke up andra and said I am afraid of pigman they watched T.V. until lizzy was not afraid anymore. Then lizzy went to sleep andra stayed awake and could not fall a sleep so she she woke up her mom and told her she was scared and her mom went and downstairs. Andra got back in bed and her mom sat on the couch until she went to sleep then she went up stairs to go to bed. The next morning they went downstairs to eat breakfast but there was no more muffin mix so andra’s mom went out and bought more.
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19 comments:
Good story, but there isn't really an ending.
Great story! Ithought it could have used more descripitions though.
you shuold add more descritions about PIG MAN.
I have to agree with bestactor. There could have been more detial. Over all pretty good story.
It was a good story.
You forgot a couple periods at the end of sentences.
You forgot to put some periods in the end sentences but it was a good story.
how does lizzy know about pigman? you did ot put any periods at the end of the sentences.
I loved your story, but you could of added more details. Also, you missed a lot of punctuation.
There is no ending to it.
I agree with everyone you missed a lot of punctuation,and there wasn't really an ending,and also what btbtbtbt wrote how did lizzy know about pig ma?
man?
sorry.
there wasn't really an ending it ended as muffens
Your story was ok .But your story didnt really have a good ending . you should fix it!
hi, i liked your story.
it was a little wierd when you ended with muffins.
heeheee
Your story was good but . You ended your story with muffins .You need to re type the end !
Even know there was no ending it was a good story about PIG MAN,
what is wrong with your story it dosen't make any sense and whats up with your ending it horrible!!!!
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