One cold winter day, a girl name Katie Parker woke up after her long night sleep. She looked outside because last night she heard on the weather station that there is going to be over 5 inches of snow! So Katie walked over to her big white window in her room. When she opened her long purple curtain she screamed on the top of her lungs.
“Be quiet Katie your going to wake up your little brother,” said Mrs. Parker. Katie had a baby brother named Brian. Brian was only two weeks old.
“Sorry,” said Katie. But you will never believe what’s outside,” said Katie.
“What’s outside,” said Mrs. Parker.
“Over five inches of white fluffy snow,” Katie said with excitement!
“Oh my!” said Mrs. Parker.
Katie ran down her long narrow brown stairs. When she got to her living room, she turned on the T.V. to News Twelve New Jersey. She did that because that’s the station that told you if your school is closed on snow days. Katie took a seat on her white sofa. Katie went to Pennsylvania Elementary. She was in third grade. It took the news lady to get to her school because it went in ABC order. Her school was all the way in the P section. In the mean time she made herself a nice hot glass of hot chocolate with two white fluffy marshmallows. Katie loved marshmallows. By the time Katie came back they were just on the letter P. When they said Pennsylvania Elementary she ran to get the phone to call her BFF Sarah Marks Mrs. Marks picked up the phone
“Hello Mrs. Marks,” Katie said.
“Hello,” said Mrs. Marks.
“Can I please talk to Sarah?” asked Katie?
“Sarah’s actually walking to your house,” said Mrs. Marks.
“Okay,” said Katie.
“Bye,” said Mrs. Marks.
“Bye,” said Katie.
Katie hung up the phone and ran up the stairs. Katie put her snow pants on with a red heavy sweater. That was her favorite sweater.
“Can Sarah and I go to Cemetery Hill?” asked Katie?
“Of course you guys could,” said Mrs. Parker.
“Okay bye mom,” said Katie.
“Bye honey,” said Mrs. Parker.
As soon as Katie went down stairs, she put her gloves, hat, and snow boots on. Next, the door bell rang. It was Srah. Katie ran to the door to unlock the door for Sarah.
“Hey Sarah,” said Katie.
“Hey Katie,” said Sarah.
“Want to go sledding?” asked Sarah.
“Yeah I already asked my mom, she said yes,” said Katie.
“So grab your sled and lets go!” Sarah said with excitement!
So when Sarh and Katie went outside, Katie opened her garage door, and didn’t see her sled. Katie and Sarah looked all over. They looked under Mrs. Parkers big gray van. It wasn’t there. They looked in Mrs. Parkers van. It was’t there. They even looked in Katies dad’s car. It still was no were to be found.
“What should we do?’ questioned Sarah?
“Wait I know were it is,” Katie said.
“Were,” asked Sarah?
“It’s in my shed,” said Katie.
Katie and Sarah got Katie’s sled, and headed to Cemetery Hill. As soon as Katie and Sarah got to Cemetery Hill, they went runnung up the tall hill. When they got on the top of the hill,they went rushing down. They did thet for about four to five minutes. Next, they buid a fort, made a snow man, and had a snowball fight. They had a GREAT time. When they were don they went to Starbucks and got a hot glass of hot chocolate. Of course Katie got two white fluffy marshmellows. Before Katie and Sarah went home Sarah said
“Katie, if we have another snow day I’ll meet you at Cemetery Hill again.
“Okay,” said Katie.
Cluster Map of Our Visitors
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10 comments:
JI, great story. I myself like snow days, but you have some spelling errors and for someone who loves marshmellows why would they only have 2?
JI, I loved your story. I liked how it had a lot of detial. In the third to last paragraph done is spelled wrong.
You put buid and 1 it is suppoes to be past tense built, 2 thet is spelled tha, but good no i mean great details!!!!
YOU GO JI
+Nice story! I liked the detail that you put into story, for example when you said red fluffy coat instead of just coat.-But you had some sppelling errors.
I liked that story but I think you could add more description because I was left in the dark a few times while reading, plus sometimes,when I was reading the story, especially the dialogue, it had a rushed feeling to it. Overall, I thought it was a great story.
I loved your story. I liked how it had a lot of detial. But you had a few spelling errors, like sometimes you spelled sarah wrong. But other than that I really like it.
in the third to last paragraph you said "They did thet for about four to five minutes." i think it might sound a bit better if you changed it to "They did thet for about four or five minutes."
Nice use of para graphs, nice story overall!
It was a good story but you spelled some words wrong. I liked how you put a lot of detial.
Hi,
My name is Alex and I go to Te Awamutu Intermediate. I live in Te Awamutu so it doesn't snow, but we get frost during winter. In August and September my family and I go skiing at Mount Ruapehu. I have been skiing since I was about seven or eight so I've been skiing for about four years.
This story is really cool, I loved all the detail and the use of paragraphs, I find it very hard to use paragraphs!!
If you want you can check out my blog, the URL is: http://alextai.learnerblogs.org/
Alex =]
I loved that story! Very imiginateive and thoughtful. Join the writers group... with ME!!! (Ps, the group does not exist in true life.)
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